Biblical Sex Education for Children

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Joh 4:19 The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet.


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Marriage and Sex

Sex and the Children

I just read an article about the school systems teaching ten and eleven year old children about sex. I was shocked that the school authorities in King County, WA were defending a principal who had taught 10 and 11 year old children about oral and anal sex. I simply cannot fathom a world where a 10 year old little boy or girl needs to know how to have any kind of sex. I completely understand that children of that age will be curious about their bodies. However, making the leap from education about their bodies to instruction on sexual activities is going way too far in my opinion. I cannot help but wonder if there are any moral values taught in these classes. If so, what moral guideline is used. I am afraid that the absence of any moral guidelines in the curriculum will leave the children with the assumption that sex and morality are mutually exclusive. I realize that many will reject the idea of using the Bible as the moral standard. The Bible is, however, the greatest moral foundation a child could ever be given. If the children of any generation would start following the moral precepts concerning sex as set forth in the Bible, all of the problems associated with sex would disappear. Imagine a world with no sexually transmitted diseases. Imagine a world with no divorce. Imagine a world where no hearts were ever jaded by a cheating spouse. This is the world that God would have for us all. However, we cannot change the entire world. Right? That is the beauty of the moral precepts as set forth in the Bible. Everyone does not have to follow the Biblical moral code. Only those who want the benefit need follow them. How does that work? Let's go to the Bible for the answers.

What is marriage?

In today's world the idea of monogamy for life is often seen as antiquated and absurd. Popular television makes light of having countless sexual partners. Jokes are sometimes made in reference to a person's "number". That "number" being the number of sexual partners the person has had in their life. It appears that while one is "unmarried" the higher the number, the better. However, after a person is "married" a lower number is much desired, especially by the spouse. I put quotes around the word married in those sentences because what society calls marriage is not what the Bible teaches. Marriage is such an important topic that it is the second moral precept defined in the Bible. That definition is found in Genesis 2:24.

"Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."
Source: King James Bible

There are three parts to this definition.

1. The couple to be married shall leave their parents. - In today's world, newly weds often to live with one of their parents. This Bible verse tells us that the first step in becoming married is to leave the parents. This implies that the couple to be married should be self sufficient.

2. They shall cleave unto each other. -The second step in becoming married is to cleave unto each other. That word "cleave" according to Strong's dictionary means to cling, to pursue hard, to stick together, to abide together.

3. They shall become one flesh. -The final step in becoming married is to "become one flesh". The Strong's dictionary tells us that the word "flesh" means: "(by euphemism) the pudenda of a man" . That is the external genitalia. To complete the marriage process, the couple's genitalia become one. That is the sexual act.

Notice the order of things. Leave the parents, live together, then sex. According to the Bible, the final step in becoming married is the act of sex. People are sometimes put off by this order and comment that they would never allow their children to live together before marriage. This type of thinking usually comes from a misunderstanding of what constitutes a Biblical marriage. The point to this order is that a couple should not live together until they are ready to be married, and they should not have sex until they are ready to be married because the sexual act does indeed marry them. The Biblical order described here is exactly opposite of what is commonly accepted as the norm in today's society. Couples often have sex while dating, then they might live together, then they might have a marriage ceremony, then they might leave the parents and move out to begin their life together. However, according to the Bible, the marriage actually takes place during the sexual act, not during some ceremony of man. The Bible confirms this in several other verses. The morals of society state that marriage takes place when a marriage ceremony takes place. The Bible tells us that man does not join two people in marriage, but God Himself joins the two in marriage when the two become one flesh.

"Mat 19:4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
Source: King James Bible

Science tells us that sexual acts join two bodies in a way that is impossible by any other means. Sexually transmitted diseases are proof of this in themselves. God alone joins two people in marriage. The certificate and the ceremony are the workings of man and can be broken. The chemical reactions due to the mixing of bodily fluids during sexual acts were put in place by God, and those effects are forever.

I wrote above about a person's "number". Many people keep their "number" as a closely guarded secret. Jesus shocked a woman at a well by revealing her "number".

"Joh 4:16 Jesus saith unto her, Go, call thy husband, and come hither. Joh 4:17 The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus said unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: Joh 4:18 For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly. Joh 4:19 The woman saith unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet."
Source: King James Bible

Imagine this woman's shock at having a stranger reveal her "number". She knew immediately that Jesus was no ordinary man. This occurrence in the Bible demonstrates very plainly what marriage is.

Adultery and Divorce

According to society, adultery takes place when a married person has an affair. The Biblical definition of adultery is quite different. Jesus tells us that lusting after someone is committing adultery.

"Mat 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
Source: King James Bible

Many marriages today end in divorce. The Bible states that divorce is often the cause of adultery.

"Mar 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. Mar 10:12 And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery."
Source: King James Bible

These verses clearly show that the rules apply equally to men and women. If the man divorces and remarries, he is an adulterer. If the woman divorces and remarries, she is an adulteress.

The Exceptions.

The Bible only lists two ways that a marriage can be ended. One way is if a person's spouse commits adultery.

"Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
Source: King James Bible

The person whose spouse commits adultery is free to divorce and remarry. The other way that a marriage can be ended is if one member of the married couple dies.

"Rom 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. Rom 7:3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man."
Source: King James Bible

The long and short of the situation is that if our "number" is more than one, we have committed adultery unless all of our previous sexual partners are dead or cheated on us. How many of us have committed adultery by that standard? That is the standard by which we will be measured. That is the standard by which everyone's children will be measured. Therefore, parents are obligated to teach their children that standard.

If one generation would be taught that standard and follow it, the benefits would be incredible. That generation would not have sexually transmitted diseases. The diseases simply could not spread if everyone's "number" was one. That generation would not have teen pregnancy. They would be out of school, self sufficient, and would be prepared for marriage before they ever had sex. They would know each other very well before they married by joining their bodies. That generation would not know the pain of having a sexual partner (a spouse by biblical standards) cheat on them. How much better would their lives be?

But that is impossible!

The idea of an entire generation changing so dramatically is impossible and will not happen. The Bible has an answer for this dilemma also. This was a problem from very near creation. In Genesis 6, we are told that men of God started choosing their wives based upon looks rather than Godly behavior. The outcome was that the children that came out of these marriages took on the moral character of their mothers who in this case were not women of God. The Bible describes them as "daughters of men". In other words, they were earthly in their desires. They were not following God. These verses show how important the mother figure is in a child's development. Over and over again in the Old Testament, God's people were instructed not to intermarry with people of different faiths. This concept is the cornerstone of the crumbling moral foundation of the world. Parents must teach their children to choose a spouse based upon moral compatibility rather than appearance. If they do this, what the rest of the world is doing will not matter. The children who are taught in this manner and who live their lives accordingly will enjoy all of the benefits stated above.

We should be using the Bible to teach sexual education to the children. There is no need to instruct a 10 year old in how to perform oral sex or anal sex. Parents can lay the foundations of a healthy sexual education with precepts directly from the Bible. Sexual education should take place at an appropriate age following a healthy moral foundation. One day we will all have our "number" revealed. Part of a parent's duty to their children is to help them understand the importance of marriage. Parents must explain to their children the benefits of choosing a morally equal spouse. Parents are obligated to teach their children what constitutes a marriage in God's eyes. It is the parent's responsibility to do everything in their power to encourage the youth to have a "number" of one.